Today July 3rd, 2011 is a very special day. Now before I get to why it is a special day, let me share with you how it came to be a special day.
Today I woke up, read my bible and went to church. During Church I began to feel light headed and sick... but once we got back to Mrs. Joan's house I began to feel better. After we ate lunch I decided to go into Nechy's room and read a book by Karen Kingburry. As I was reading, my mind began to wonder. I started thinking about my parents, their hugs, my ex. But after awhile I could not take it anymore. I began to let tears fall. I saw my mom on facebook and as I was crying I began to write to her, begging for her to get on and talk because I needed my mommy. When my mom answered my plea, I started pouring out my heart. I told her how much I needed her and how I felt I was dissapointing everyone by missing home and crying. Mom kept reassuring me she was proud of me and Satan was messing with my mind. I told her I made a mistake thinking I could be here for 2 months, but she told me there was a reason I was here two months, and that reason was to learn how to rely on God and not my parents.
As mom was telling me this I knew she was right, but I didn't want to listen. I didn't want to be away from my family so I made every excuse why mom should be here with me. Mom finally had me call her on my cell phone and through tears we talked till all my saldos ran out. But before the phone cut off, mom told me I am chosen by God and I have to trust Him and Rely on Him. I am here for a reason and I have to give to others and not to myself. She told me how proud she was of me and how she knows I am where God wants me to be....I am on His path.
When the phone went out, I finished my conversation with mom on fb. She told me I need to go out and admire God's creation. She knew I was spending my time in the house and she figured going outside in the fresh air would help me focuse more on God and maybe it would help me to think positive thoughts.
I want to tell you right now, my mom was right. I needed to focuse on posive things and keep my eyes on the Lord. When I was done talking to my mom, I decided to go outside and read my bible. THIS IS WHERE THE GREAT PART COMES IN!!! While I sat outside, I had a little chat with God. We talked for a good while, and I decided it was time; time to give it all; time to stop doing things my way; time to get off the mountain I have been stuck on because I wanted to do things my way.
I gave my life to the Lord when I was 8, but I did not live my life like I should. I was selfish and hard headed...I made bad decisions and ended up having some major consequences for those decisions. I did things my way, told people one thing and did the other. I said I gave God everything, but did I really? Why was I still doing things my way? Well I am here to say I am done with my way and God is my Pilot now. Tonight I rededicated my life to the Lord and I asked Him to use me as He pleases because I am His servent and He is my Master. I am not on this earth for myself, but for Him!